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A close-up of a newly opened delphinium flower (Summer 2013).

Thursday, January 13, 2011

How To Become An Excellent Lover (Republished)

Dear Readers: I am re-publishing a short article I wrote 11 years ago, in 2000. It was published as one of the Weekly Tips in my website which was then hosted by My Bizland website is now gone but I thought I would like to share this article with you hoping that the tips here will contribute to your relationship in a positive way.


1. Begin by loving, accepting, and trusting yourself.

2. Know that  being a lover is not about sex and love-making alone but it  is primarily what you do to yourself. 

3. Develop your character.  The inner patterns of the self determines your relationship with your beloved. Honesty for example goes a long way in creating an exciting sex life.

4. Recognize your beloved's worth as a person.  Valuing him/her  extends to the bedroom--every kiss and every caress becomes  a meaningful discovery of your beloved, savored and enjoyed to the fullest extent because you validate his/her preciousness and uniqueness.

5. Learn to read your beloved's body language. Be sensitive to every word, look, moan and quiver.

6. Know your lover's sexual needs and be bold in fulfilling each other's sexual fantasies for as long as they are not demeaning and painful.  

7. Be creative.  Explore and seduce each other. Try to achieve various erotic moods--tender, romantic, languid, passionate, intense, and sizzling.

8.  Read and  research about sex to be informed but don't be bookish. The best source of sexual knowledge and skill is still your beloved. 

9. Continue to tease and seduce each other in various settings and in many ways.  Use your senses and be sensuous.  Use all parts of your body to give and receive pleasure.

10. Let go and be free.  Give and receive pleasure without fear, doubt and guilt.  This presumes that you have the right motive, the right time, the right situation, and the right person. 

Watch for my next article on romantic love next week. As always, I welcome your thoughts, comments, and contributions. Please feel free to write them in the Comments section below.

Have a great weekend, everybody!